A woman in her 30s discovered a secret she'd kept hidden for years - that of having a child with a man who'd long since passed away without acknowledging their daughter until now. Her own family was aware, but chose to keep quiet about it, leaving her to raise the child on her own.
The grandmother, who had been privy to this information for many years, reached out to the woman's 21-year-old daughter with a birthday gift - a paternity test. The young woman is now being asked by her grandmother to take care of her other grandchildren in a region far from home.
A strained relationship has emerged between the family members over this issue. The mother wishes she had been more open with her child about her past, but was hoping to spare her pain. She acknowledges that keeping it hidden for so long was selfish and hurtful.
Meanwhile, another reader is struggling with people in online groups consistently using their full first name despite not being asked to do so. They feel this constant reminder of a name they've never wanted to use is bothersome and are torn between addressing the issue or letting it slide.
Dear Abby advises those dealing with this problem to take matters into their own hands, suggesting they make the necessary time to have their name legally changed instead of just tolerating the situation.
The grandmother, who had been privy to this information for many years, reached out to the woman's 21-year-old daughter with a birthday gift - a paternity test. The young woman is now being asked by her grandmother to take care of her other grandchildren in a region far from home.
A strained relationship has emerged between the family members over this issue. The mother wishes she had been more open with her child about her past, but was hoping to spare her pain. She acknowledges that keeping it hidden for so long was selfish and hurtful.
Meanwhile, another reader is struggling with people in online groups consistently using their full first name despite not being asked to do so. They feel this constant reminder of a name they've never wanted to use is bothersome and are torn between addressing the issue or letting it slide.
Dear Abby advises those dealing with this problem to take matters into their own hands, suggesting they make the necessary time to have their name legally changed instead of just tolerating the situation.
It's crazy how some ppl keep secrets from their own flesh & blood. Like, yeah mom, you shoulda been more open but better late than never, right? 
And now she's got a paternity test thrown at her like it's no big deal... 
or just block them if they're bein annoying 
. Don't gotta make a whole deal outta it.
i mean dont get me wrong im all for respecting ppl's names but come on, its just a little more considerate if we ask them to chill with the first name vibes 
On a more serious note, it's crazy how some people don't care about others' boundaries, like using someone's full name without permission... I mean, couldn't they just ask if it's cool or something? 
Like, take matters into your own hands and get that name changed ASAP - no more being annoyed! 
. It's crazy how our past choices (or lack thereof) can still affect us today.
. No more tolerating annoying reminders of your real name... ugh!
. And now the whole family's being pulled into this drama because of a paternity test - it's crazy! 
I think this whole thing is super complicated and messy. The mom is already struggling to balance parenting her kid on her own after hiding the truth for years... now she's gotta deal with her grandchild asking her to care for even more kids in a different region? 
. It's crazy that she had to raise her kid on her own without any help from family or even a grandparent! And now, with grandma asking to take care of other kids too? The tension is real 
.
. I'd love to see them all having a big family chat about it and coming out stronger on the other side 
.
. No more constant reminders of names you never wanted to use 
The grandma's actions though... I don't think they're entirely right 
, yeah I know it's a big ask to care for more kids at 21, but she could've handled the situation better before just springing it on her grandkid.
If you don't want to use your first name all the time, that's totally fine! Make a change if it bothers you, no need for drama. And those who keep using full names out of habit... come on, grow up a bit 
!