A romance fraudster ruined my life – how I survived two years with a psychopath

For two years, Tamsin's life was a mess. She had left her marriage, quit her job, sold her car, phone, and most of her belongings, and racked up tens of thousands in debt after falling victim to romance fraud. The scammer, Mike, had convinced her that he was a wealthy businessman with cancer who needed her help, eventually leading her to cut ties with her family and friends.

Tamsin's story is one of extreme emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and exploitation. She had been in a low point in her life, feeling unloved and tired, but Mike's constant affection and attention made her feel seen and appreciated. However, as time went on, Tamsin began to notice red flags – Mike would often disappear for hours without explanation, claiming he was in the hospital or dealing with business issues.

Despite her growing doubts, Tamsin couldn't bring herself to question Mike. She became addicted to the feeling of being loved and wanted, even if it meant ignoring the warning signs. The scam continued until Tamsin's friends and family got involved, leading to Mike's arrest.

Tamsin is now on the road to recovery, working multiple jobs to pay off her debts and rebuilding relationships with those she cares about. However, the experience has left her feeling ashamed, embarrassed, hurt, and humiliated. She's constantly braced for blame from others, who often assume that victims of romance fraud are "stupid" for falling for it.

The recent conviction of Nigel Baker, a man who targeted single mothers, divorcees, and women who had been recently bereaved, highlights the growing concern around in-person romance fraud. Rowe, co-founder of the charity LoveSaid, says that most methods used for in-person and online romance scams are the same – grooming, love bombing, trauma bombing, and gaslighting.

"Perpetrators get an absolute kick out of all of it," she says. "It's about power and control, the horrendous emotional manipulation, and the sexual element too – and then the money." The charity is working to raise awareness and provide support for victims, who are often shamed or blamed for their circumstances.

Tamsin's experience serves as a stark reminder of the dangers of romance scams. If you're ever in a situation where you feel like you're being manipulated or exploited, don't be afraid to seek help. Report the scam to local police and organizations like Victim Support and LoveSaid, which provide confidential support and resources for victims.

In the UK, victims of in-person romance fraud can report it to their local police as well as the National Crime Agency's Report Fraud helpline (0300 123 2040). For confidential help and support, contact Victim Support (0808 161 8871) and LoveSaid.
 
I FEEL SO SAD FOR TAMSN AND ALL THE OTHER VICTIMS OF ROMANCE FRAUD!!! 🤕 IT'S SO EASY TO GET CAUGHT UP IN THE FEELINGS OF BEING LOVED AND WANTED, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME IN LIFE. BUT TRUST ME, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! 😔 THESE SCAMMERS ARE MASTERMINDS AT PLAYING WITH PEOPLE'S EMOTIONS AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.

WE NEED MORE SUPPORT SYSTEMS IN PLACE FOR VICTIMS OF ROMANCE FRAUD, ESPECIALLY THE ONES WHO FEEL SHAMED OR BLAMED FOR THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES. 🤝 Organizations like LoveSaid are doing amazing work to raise awareness and provide resources for those affected, so KUDOS TO THEM!!! 👏
 
Imagine a web with two main threads: one is love and affection, the other is manipulation 🕸️💔. Romance scams like Mike's exploit this vulnerability, creating an illusion of connection that gradually warps reality 💫. It's not about being stupid or weak; it's about emotional exploitation - gaslighting, trauma bombing, and control 🤯.

For Tamsin, the journey to recovery is long and painful, but her story highlights a crucial truth: victims aren't responsible for the scammers' actions 🙅‍♀️. Support networks like LoveSaid are essential in raising awareness and providing help to those affected 💖. We need to acknowledge the power dynamics at play here - perpetrators want to control and manipulate, not genuine connections or love ❤️.

Let's focus on empowerment: if you feel manipulated or exploited, reach out for help 📞. Report scams, talk to trusted friends or family, and seek support from organizations like Victim Support and LoveSaid 🤝. Together, we can create a culture of care and understanding 💪
 
I was just thinking about my favorite coffee shop downtown 🍵... I mean, have you guys ever noticed how the barista's mustache has changed over the years? It's like they're trying to reinvent themselves or something 😂. And speaking of reinvention, Tamsin's story is pretty wild - I mean, who gets scammed that badly and still thinks they can "love" someone back into their life? 🤷‍♀️

I've been reading this one forum about coffee beans, and apparently, some people are really particular about the roast levels 😅. Like, who knew there were so many nuances in coffee taste? It's like trying to identify different scammers online - sometimes you think you know someone, but it all turns out to be a facade 🚮.

I'm just saying, if Tamsin's story is any indication, it's crucial for us to look out for each other and not shame those who've been victimized. We should all be reporting those scammers like the National Crime Agency does, you know? 💪
 
🚨 I'm still in shock thinking about Tamsin's story... it's like, what could've happened to her? She was already going through a tough time, feeling unloved and tired, but Mike just swooped in and manipulated her emotions. Gaslighting is so real, right? It's not just something you see in movies or TV shows, people can do that to others. The fact that she kept ignoring the red flags because it made her feel loved... ouch. 🤕 And now she's paying off tens of thousands of debt and trying to rebuild her life.

I think what really gets me is how many victims are blamed for falling for these scams. Like, they're not stupid or weak, they just got caught up in the moment. We need to start having a more nuanced conversation about romance scams and support our friends who've been through it. If you see someone friend-zoning or ghosting, report it! Let's spread awareness and help those affected. 💖
 
OMG u guys I cant even imagine how scary & emotionaly draining it must be to go thru something like that Tamsin's story is literally a warning sign for us all 🚨💔 I feel so sorry for her she was already in a low point in life but then got manipulated by this scammer Mike and it was just devastating 🤕

I think its super important to raise awareness about romance scams so people dont fall victim to them like Tamsin did 🌟💡 we need to support each other & report any suspicious behavior to the authorities ASAP 💪👮‍♀️ also organizations like Victim Support and LoveSaid are doing amazing work in providing resources & confidential support for victims 👏🌈
 
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