Elizabeth, 67, thought she'd met the love of her life in Sam, a charming American-Norwegian consultant who showered her with affection and attention online. The romance was intense, with Sam sharing every detail of his life, from his job interviews to his medical struggles, and Elizabeth couldn't get enough. She sent him $500 as an Amazon gift voucher because he needed some wire mesh for his oil rig work, and later paid for a new part after the tanker transporting the oil ran into problems.
As their relationship deepened, Sam began to ask for more money - £10,000 to pay off a loan, then another £5,000 to cover medical expenses. Elizabeth felt responsible for Sam's life and went bankrupt trying to support him. She pawned her late mother's jewelry, took out bank loans, and even sold some of her savings.
When Sam fell ill, the doctor told Elizabeth that he was in a coma, and she rushed to his side - only to discover it was all a ruse. The scam had ended six months earlier when her adult sons confronted her and broke the spell. But the damage was done: Elizabeth was left feeling ashamed, angry, fear-stricken, and grieving for someone who didn't exist.
Criminologist Dr Elisabeth Carter says that romance scams are not just about theft, but grooming and abuse. The methods used to control victims are intimately aligned with those seen in coercive control and domestic abuse. "The victim's reality becomes so distorted over weeks, months or years that the decisions they make seem rational and reasonable," she explains.
Elizabeth realizes now that she was a victim of all these stages: victim selection, love bombing, trauma bombing, sleep deprivation, scripting hyper-intimacy and isolation, dream-building, gaslighting and withdrawal. The scammer had become her world, controlling every aspect of her life. When the mask slipped, Elizabeth was terrified - not just by the threats but also by realizing she'd been complicit in enabling the scam.
The end stage of a romance scam can be chilling: once the scammer realizes they're losing control, their language and behavior escalate to threatening messages. In Elizabeth's case, the possibility haunted her that someone had seen all her naked pictures and videos.
Elizabeth reported the scam to the police and received some help from Victim Support meetings with other victims of romance fraud. She eventually got a large sum of money refunded by her bank but still struggles to come to terms with what happened. "The scammers are sick, they've got no soul," she says, but also acknowledges that "they're very clever".
To avoid falling victim to these scams, experts advise making sure you keep conversations about your relationship with friends and family, doing detective work, such as reverse-image-searching pictures and videos, and remembering that if you're being told to lie to your bank or made to feel like it's against you, that's a red flag.
If you suspect you've been a victim of romance fraud, report it to Action Fraud (0300 123 2040) or contact Victim Support for confidential help.
As their relationship deepened, Sam began to ask for more money - £10,000 to pay off a loan, then another £5,000 to cover medical expenses. Elizabeth felt responsible for Sam's life and went bankrupt trying to support him. She pawned her late mother's jewelry, took out bank loans, and even sold some of her savings.
When Sam fell ill, the doctor told Elizabeth that he was in a coma, and she rushed to his side - only to discover it was all a ruse. The scam had ended six months earlier when her adult sons confronted her and broke the spell. But the damage was done: Elizabeth was left feeling ashamed, angry, fear-stricken, and grieving for someone who didn't exist.
Criminologist Dr Elisabeth Carter says that romance scams are not just about theft, but grooming and abuse. The methods used to control victims are intimately aligned with those seen in coercive control and domestic abuse. "The victim's reality becomes so distorted over weeks, months or years that the decisions they make seem rational and reasonable," she explains.
Elizabeth realizes now that she was a victim of all these stages: victim selection, love bombing, trauma bombing, sleep deprivation, scripting hyper-intimacy and isolation, dream-building, gaslighting and withdrawal. The scammer had become her world, controlling every aspect of her life. When the mask slipped, Elizabeth was terrified - not just by the threats but also by realizing she'd been complicit in enabling the scam.
The end stage of a romance scam can be chilling: once the scammer realizes they're losing control, their language and behavior escalate to threatening messages. In Elizabeth's case, the possibility haunted her that someone had seen all her naked pictures and videos.
Elizabeth reported the scam to the police and received some help from Victim Support meetings with other victims of romance fraud. She eventually got a large sum of money refunded by her bank but still struggles to come to terms with what happened. "The scammers are sick, they've got no soul," she says, but also acknowledges that "they're very clever".
To avoid falling victim to these scams, experts advise making sure you keep conversations about your relationship with friends and family, doing detective work, such as reverse-image-searching pictures and videos, and remembering that if you're being told to lie to your bank or made to feel like it's against you, that's a red flag.
If you suspect you've been a victim of romance fraud, report it to Action Fraud (0300 123 2040) or contact Victim Support for confidential help.
I mean, come on! This is just crazy! Elizabeth thought she was in love with this guy and totally gave him control over her life 
. She even went bankrupt trying to support him 
. And all the while, it was a scam 
. The person claiming to be Sam wasn't even real 
.
. Elizabeth should have done some research or checked up on this guy before giving him all her money 
. And what really gets me is that she pawnsed off her mom's jewelry and took out bank loans 
. That's just not right.
. These scammers are manipulative and controlling, and it's devastating for the victims 
. Elizabeth is lucky to have gotten some help from Victim Support and her bank, but she still has a long way to go 
.
. Don't fall for someone who's being too intense or controlling - trust your instincts! 
. but of course, it all turned out to be a lie. it's just so heartbreaking how these scammers can ruin people's lives like that.
. but at least she recovered from it eventually. elizabeth's story is just so depressing... how did she not realize what was going on? 
. and if you're gonna be online, just make sure to keep your personal info private and don't send money to random ppl 
, can't just trust anyone who says they love u 
. if somethin feels off, it probably is 
.
. I mean, what's even more disturbing is that the scammer basically manipulated her into feeling like she had to control his life too - it's like they were in some twisted romance novel or something